I, personally, have little no experience with relationships ergo I have no room to talk about relationships. Ok, that’s not true. I feel, as someone with so little experience, that I do offer a different perspective when viewing relationships. An outside perspective. And one specific type of relationship that has always fascinated me has been young love.
A lot of older people tend to discredit younger people and simply label them as “moody” or “emotional” rather than taking their opinions and feelings into account like they would another adult. And because of this, adults rarely take young love seriously which I think is ridiculous. If a teenager is able to plan out the rest of their future at that age then they should be taken seriously when it comes to falling in love at that age. Simultaneously, there are obvious examples of young love that prove young people have no idea what they’re doing when it comes to romance (example: Romeo and Juliet). But at the same time, that shouldn’t discredit all romance experienced at a younger age.
This comes up because I recently read the chapter in Americanah where Ifemelu discusses meeting and dating her, presently ex-boyfriend, Obinze. While her age is not specified, it’s safe to assume she was still young when the pair met and fell for one another. And because of that, and how their relationship ended, that begs the question: is all young love doomed to fail?
Obviously I believe young love should be taken seriously but taken seriously doesn’t necessarily mean I believe all young relationships will work out. If the answer to the above question turns out to be yes, then why? Is it because we’re young, so we have no idea how to handle actual relationships that involve feelings? Or is it because we’re constantly pressured and judged by adults who think young love is ridiculous, childish, foolish? It’s safe to say the odds are stacked against the success of young love. With stigma from society also comes responsibilities like school or establishing yourself in the workplace or moving away from home and living your own life without your parents there to guide you. On top of that, add the emotional responsibility that comes with maintaining a successful and healthy relationship, you’ve got quite the heavy load.
I think I’m just curious to see why Obinze and Ifemelu’s relationship ended. Were they doomed to fail from the start? Do their separate hopes and dreams send them down different paths? And then you have the knowledge that they are beginning to reconnect after the relationship has long since ended, so does that mean there might be more to their relationship? Who knows.
That’s it for now.